“My Love Story, Thanks to OYNB” – Karl Elliott
- OYNB
- Nov 17
- 2 min read
On 1st June 2016, I quit alcohol — and dating sites.
That day, I made a conscious decision to find my true self — not the version I’d been hiding behind for 17 years of drinking.
I had used dating sites selfishly. I used women selfishly. I chased quick validation: a cuddle, a hookup, a date night, a texting companion, someone to entertain me when I was bored or drunk.
Yes — I was that guy.And I was able to get away with it because alcohol kept me disconnected from my own emotions and the consequences of my behaviour.
If I felt a woman was getting too close, I’d push her away.Sometimes I’d behave badly on purpose so that she would end it — so I didn’t have to. It was cowardly, and I knew it.
18 months of sobriety changed everything
During those 18 months, I grew up.I began to recognise the parts of myself I’d buried. I received compliments on how healthy I looked. I rediscovered patience, compassion and the ability to be present with others.
I became someone who helped, instead of someone who hurt.I was mentoring people on their own sober journeys, and OYNB even made me an ambassador.
For the first time, I could actually feel my emotions — and face them honestly.
Then she appeared — unexpectedly
Around the 18-month mark, I was active in an online support group looking for running clients. A woman responded to my post — she wanted a running coach… and, as it turned out, she wanted to get to know me too.
I wasn’t looking for anything romantic.I was happy being single.I was training daily, building a business, preparing for triathlons.
But she completely blew me away.
There was just one issue:She lived in Maidenhead.I lived in a tiny village in Leeds.200 miles apart — and I hardly ever travelled beyond my village.
How could this possibly work?
Sobriety makes you step outside your comfort zone
So I did exactly that.I drove to Windsor to meet her.
It was nothing like my old dates — no alcohol, no games, no bravado. It was real.We talked, laughed, connected. We kissed. We agreed to meet again.
On my drive home, we talked the entire way — a proper Gavin & Stacey moment.From then on, we were inseparable.
On 23 December 2017, I asked her to be my girlfriend — old-school style.
Building a life I never imagined
In February 2018, I introduced her to my daughter — something I had never done with anyone else. No one had ever been around long enough, or been meaningful enough, to meet her.
But this was different.
We celebrated her first year of sobriety together.We took our first holiday.Our parents met.I met her children.I even met her dog.
Fourteen months later, I genuinely believed I had found:
the love of my life
my rock
my partner
my soul mate
And the best part?The man who once refused to leave his tiny Yorkshire village was suddenly planning a future 200 miles away.
Together, we bought a house in Ascot. In 2019, we officially started our new life in the south of England.
