What’s changed? Literally everything! – Steph Gunn

My relationship with alcohol has completely changed and I know there is no place for it in my new life, the life I love and cherish

I’ve enjoyed a drink for as long as I can remember. As a teenager, in defiance of my teetotal parents, then socially with friends on nights out, and over the last 15 years or so, a glass of wine with dinner. Before I knew it, that had become several glasses each evening and a couple more bottles at the weekend.

Deciding to make a change

I knew my drinking was causing me problems. There were evenings I couldn’t remember. I would often wake in the night feeling anxious, heart pounding, and promise myself that tomorrow I would quit. But it wasn’t that easy. I tried dry months, forcing myself to abstain and counting down the days until I could drink again. I tried moderation. I failed.

At the same time, I had been steadily gaining weight. I had always been slim and athletic. I love dancing and walk almost daily, I eat healthily, but my waistline kept getting bigger. Unhappy, I sought help from a personal trainer, who confirmed what I already suspected: the extra weight was very likely down to the alcohol.

He introduced me to OYNB, and I joined. I chose the 90 day challenge because I had completed 28 days many times before and always gone straight back to drinking, often more than before. I knew I needed something longer and deeper this time.

Starting my OYNB challenge

The first few weeks were the hardest. I followed the daily emails to the letter, working through every exercise. I jumped into the online community, looking for support in those early days and drawing so much inspiration from people on day 40, day 60, day 365. If they could do it, so could I.

I set myself a 10k run as a goal, something I would never have even considered while I was drinking. As my alcohol-free days increased, the urge to drink started to fade. I tried almost every type of alcohol-free drink I could find – beer, wine, cordials, sodas, teas, coffee – and soon found favourites. I no longer missed the wine. Around day 60, I realised I could confidently say, “I don’t drink,” and actually believe it.

What has changed

My attitude to self-care has been one of the biggest shifts. I pay attention to:

• what I eat

• how much water I drink

• how often I move my body

• how well I sleep

Everything I need to be at my best for myself and my family now feels non-negotiable.

Sleep is now deep and continuous. No more 3 am anxiety jolts. My resting heart rate has dropped from 61 to 52. My relationship with my children has improved dramatically. Realising how much I had been failing them when I was drinking hit me like a tonne of bricks.

My waistline is back, and I’m finally happy with my weight and shape. My self-confidence has grown, and I genuinely feel like I’ve unlocked superpowers I didn’t have before. Even small things have changed – my taste buds are different now and I no longer take sugar in my tea.

My alcohol-free benefits

One of the biggest gifts is the quiet in my head. I no longer have that constant internal conversation:

“Shall I drink tonight?”“How much should I drink?”

It’s gone. That relentless dialogue that dominated my thoughts for so long is now history.

I am enjoying life so much more. Simple things like cooking new meals have become a joy and a hobby. My relationship with alcohol has completely changed and I know there is no place for it in my new life, the life I love and cherish.

How OYNB helped

OYNB constantly challenged me to look at myself and work out who I was without alcohol. Somewhere along the way, I had lost myself. This process made me find myself again.

The support from the emails and the online group has been incredibly powerful. There is always someone to turn to who understands the journey, who can offer encouragement without judgment. I’ve been amazed by the outpouring of support, even for the smallest wins, and I know that without this community, this would have been just another failed attempt.

Now, my relationship with alcohol is simple: there isn’t one. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.