The transformation has been remarkable – Kristin Gray

Waking each day feeling energised is truly a blessing

I joined OYNB because I was no longer happy with my relationship with alcohol. Like many people, the pandemic and lockdown hit hard, and it became far too easy to slip into a routine of daily drinking. Working remotely while trying to manage virtual schooling for my daughter was a real challenge. One glass of wine in the evening very quickly became a bottle.

Looking back

When I look back now, I can see a long history of problematic drinking behaviours. At first, alcohol was an excuse to kick back and relax, a way to have fun in social situations. Over time it became a tool to numb anxiety and cope with difficult situations and emotions.

My anxiety grew worse in parallel with my drinking. It got to the point where I sometimes felt like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin just to escape it. By 5pm most days I felt fatigued and exhausted, and I could not understand why I had no energy.

After several doctor visits and no clear answers, it started to dawn on me that something had to change. When my doctor asked, “Do you drink and how much?” I answered, “Yes, and way too much every day,” with a self-deprecating laugh. They never pressed for more details, and that almost made it easier to avoid facing the truth. I felt I was not being the parent I wanted to be, and I had no energy for most things. I knew I did not want to feel that way anymore.

I decided that 2021 would be my year of wellness — both mental and physical — and I knew my drinking was excessive.

Getting started with OYNB

I had done an OYNB 28-day challenge before, but I more or less white-knuckled my way through it without reading the emails or watching the videos. My father passed away shortly after I finished, and it was all too easy to slip straight back into “a couple of glasses of wine to relax”.

This time felt very different. I went into the challenge knowing that the change I wanted had to be a lifestyle shift, not just an experiment to see whether I could stop for a bit.

I did not know what to expect from the OYNB Facebook group, but it quickly became one of the most valuable parts of the experience. Reading other people’s stories made me feel less alone and helped me believe that I could succeed too. I was hoping to alter my relationship with alcohol. I was not expecting to wake up around day nine and suddenly feel like my old self again.

It was emotional to realise that after all those doctor’s visits, I had been causing so many of my own problems.

Everything began to click into place

It felt freeing and empowering to wake up feeling energised and back in control. Without alcohol clouding everything, I could finally separate:

• what was being caused or amplified by drinking

• what were genuine health issues I still needed to address

It was eye-opening to see how much damage alcohol can do, and how subtle and gradual that shift can be. You almost do not notice until you look back and realise how far you have drifted from how you used to feel.

I started reading some of the recommended “quit lit” and felt ashamed of how long I had been abusing my body with alcohol. At the same time, I was shocked by how strongly society sells us the idea that alcohol is “good” or necessary.

Now that I am aware of it, I see it everywhere:

• “mommy deserves a drink” messages

• the idea that you are not really celebrating if there is no champagne

• the suggestion that you need wine to decompress or beers to enjoy a campfire

• 
  

Once you start noticing, it is hard to unsee.

Making more positive changes

With renewed energy, I have been able to start working out again and have already lost about 13 pounds, with a goal to lose another 15. Without alcohol, I make smarter, healthier food choices and take better care of my body.

The mindset shift towards prioritising my health and wellbeing has been huge. But the biggest benefit has been a deep sense of mindfulness in all areas of my life. Being truly present with my daughter is a gift I do not take for granted.

I feel that our relationship has grown closer. I am more aware of her and her needs, instead of constantly feeling tired and sluggish because of drinking.

The alcohol-free benefits

Physically, the transformation has been remarkable:

• my eyes look wider and clearer

• I look more awake

• the bloating in my stomach has reduced significantly

After getting through the first rough week, my anxiety levels dropped noticeably. That change alone has been such a blessing. For so long I could not understand why my anxiety kept getting worse.

I am continuing on to 90 days and will likely extend to 365 once I reach that milestone. So far, it has been all positives.

One of the biggest changes is how much more positive and happy I feel day to day. It really does feel as if alcohol had stolen my joy and pushed me to see life through a negative, pessimistic lens. As I have become more mindful, I have become more aware of how genuinely happy I feel now.

The support within OYNB

The Facebook group has been a huge support. Being able to talk with others who are navigating the same struggles makes such a difference. I have discovered helpful books, alcohol-free drink alternatives and so much practical advice.

In the last 30 days I have read more than I did in the previous two years. Celebrating other people’s successes, and seeing the honesty and empathy when someone has a blip, helps you understand the full picture. You see how deeply alcohol can affect our lives in overwhelmingly negative ways.

I love watching the daily videos while I am on the treadmill in the morning. It is a great way to start the day on the right note. The stories and insights give me something meaningful to reflect on. I have also started journaling again and am relearning how to sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of numbing them. It is a process after using alcohol to dull feelings for so long, but it is worth it.

What is next?

I have not had a drink in 35 days and I plan to continue indefinitely. I cannot find a good reason to drink again, given everything I have learned and experienced so far. It simply does not seem worth it now that I understand how it affects my physical and mental health.

Most of all, I never want to go back to how I felt when I started this challenge. Waking each day feeling energised and ready to tackle whatever the day brings truly is a blessing. I am overwhelmingly happier than I was at the beginning of this journey.

I would highly recommend OYNB to anyone who is struggling with their relationship with alcohol. You will gain and learn so much.