Removing alcohol from my life has been so empowering – Fiona Purdon

Finding my true self beyond the wine glass

In my teens, alcohol felt like a shortcut to confidence. I was shy, awkward and desperate to fit in, and drinking seemed like the easiest way to loosen up and feel “normal”. Nights out were fun, I was always the last one home, and I genuinely believed you needed alcohol to have a good time.

Over the years, that “fun” habit quietly evolved into something else. I wasn’t just drinking to socialise anymore – I was drinking to relax, to numb feelings, to take the edge off life. And although I kept telling myself it was “normal” and “not that bad”, every time I tried to control my drinking, I realised it was actually controlling me. One drink was never enough. I had no off switch.

When drinking stopped being fun

The warning signs were there for a long time.

• Nights out stopped being exciting and started ending in blackouts

• Hangovers came with shame, anxiety and wasted days

• I made choices I wasn’t proud of

• Physically and mentally, I was in the worst shape of my life

I didn’t like who I was becoming. I didn’t feel proud of how I was living. And I knew the only person who could change it… was me.

Discovering OYNB – and a different kind of role model

Back in 2015/16, I saw an OYNB advert and something clicked. Two guys – Ruari and Andy – not only living alcohol-free, but actually proud of it? Building a community around it? I’d never seen sobriety framed that way before.

Until then, I associated “not drinking” with shame, misery, or being on the outside looking in. Here were people saying the opposite: that you could be alcohol-free and love your life.

I was intrigued. So I jumped.

Many Day 1s… and finally real change

My journey wasn’t linear.

I completed 28 days.Then a 90 days.Then another attempt.Then more Day 1s.And more “I’ve blown it, so what’s the point” moments.

For six years, it felt like I was stuck on a hamster wheel – stopping, slipping, starting again. But every attempt taught me something. Every reset showed me I wanted this change, even when I couldn’t quite hold onto it.

Now, I’m about to hit 9 months alcohol-free, and I have never felt better.

Who I am without alcohol

Without the constant haze of drinking, I’ve discovered a completely different version of myself – and a completely different life.

I’ve found a new love for:

• Getting out into the hills

• Open water swimming

• Mountain biking

• Even the gym (who knew?)

And the benefits just keep stacking up:

• Being a better mother, partner and friend

• Improved mental health and clarity

• Better, deeper sleep

• Less anxiety

• Healthier weight and more energy

• The ability to trust myself again

• No hangovers, no blackouts

• More money in my pocket

• Real, meaningful connections with people who genuinely support me

Having good people around me, cheering me on, has made me brave enough to talk openly about sobriety. I finally understand how important it is to find your tribe.

The power of community

The Instagram sober community and the OYNB Facebook group have been game changers.

It’s a space where:

• People get the “grey area” of drinking

• You’re not judged for questioning your relationship with alcohol

• You’re encouraged to be honest, messy, and real

• Wins are celebrated and struggles are understood

I’ve been doing a lot of inner work over the last year and, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m meeting my true, authentic self – without alcohol constantly fogging the glass.

The stigma no one talks about

There is still so much stigma around alcohol.

It’s the only drug you have to justify not taking.

If you say you’re taking a break or giving it up, you’re questioned, teased, or made to feel like you’re overreacting. Imagine if we treated someone giving up smoking the same way – it would be absurd.

I wish, as a society, we showed the same support and respect to people who choose not to drink as we do to those quitting any other harmful habit. Maybe then fewer people would feel embarrassed or ridiculed for making a healthier choice.

What’s next for me

My goal isn’t just to stay alcohol-free – it’s to use what I’ve learned to help others.

• I’m continuing my AF journey

• I’m on track to graduate as an accredited coach (Oct ‘21), specialising in alcohol-free living

• I want to support people who feel stuck where I once was – knowing something’s wrong, but not sure how to change it

I’m past the FOMO stage now. I no longer feel like I’m missing out. In fact, I can see clearly that I’m gaining more than I ever lost:

• Peace of mind

• Self-respect

• Connection

• Health

• Time

• Freedom

I want to take everything I’ve learned and experienced and use it to stand beside others who are ready to step off the hamster wheel and write a new story for themselves.

Because if I can get here after years of starts and stops… so can they.