“I keep up with the drunk people on the dance floor” – Meggie

“For the first time in 28 years, I feel like I’m winning.”

I started drinking in 2008, when I moved to Montana on my own at 18. It felt normal — I was at college, everyone was partying, and drinking just blended into the background of student life.

As time went on, my friends started graduating, getting good jobs and settling down. I stayed stuck. I kept changing my degree, choosing nights out over good grades. In 2012 I dropped out and started serving tables full time.

Working in restaurants meant I was always surrounded by alcohol. There was always someone to stay for a drink after a shift or go out with me. After a few 4am “rescues” and messy nights, my friends and family started to express concern. Instead of stopping, I went underground: I began drinking alone.

I’d go to bars by myself, spending hundreds of dollars a week on booze, wondering why I couldn’t get ahead – and why I was always alone.

Starting over in Paradise, California

In 2016, I decided I needed a fresh start and moved to Paradise, CA. About three months later, I met Sam. Six weeks into dating, I found out I was four weeks pregnant. Surprise.

I quit drinking and smoking immediately. My body went through hell. I was sick for the entire pregnancy — not just the first trimester. I couldn’t keep anything down for nine months. It was miserable, but part of me felt like it was my body detoxing years of damage. At the end of it all, I had a beautiful baby girl.

I didn’t drink for almost a year after she was born. When I did, it was just a drink. Then, as I nursed less, my “one drink” slowly became more.

When everything burned

On November 8, 2018, Paradise burned to the ground.

My mom, sister and both brothers lost their homes. I lost my job. My family had to move out of state. My friends were scattered. Once again, I felt completely alone.

I did what I knew: I turned back to alcohol.

I couldn’t drink much during the day, so I started taking shots at night where nobody could see or lecture me. I got sick — physically and mentally. My emotions were out of control. I was disappearing into myself, and my daughter still needed her mother. That’s when I knew I had to look for help.

Finding OYNB

I’d tried AA before, but it didn’t feel like the right fit. So I started searching for something different.

I don’t remember exactly how I came across One Year No Beer, but I remember how I felt reading the stories:“I want to feel great. I want to take control. I want to be happy again.”

So I joined.

“For the first time in 28 years, I feel like I’m winning.”

Today, I feel stronger than I ever have.

• I’m happy.

• I have energy.

• Life feels clearer.

• I know I’m never going back.

OYNB was a huge part of that. On the days I felt weak, the community gave me strength. Every morning I’d wake up early, make tea, and read my daily email — it felt like “homework for life.” I’d ask myself: How am I empowering myself today?

At first, being around drinking was hard. I leaned heavily on the tools and the group: posting, reading, reminding myself why I started. I also discovered who my real friends were. Not everyone will love that you quit — some people get uncomfortable or even sour about it. I chose to ignore that and remember: I quit for myself and for my children.

My alcohol-free life now

Now, I love going out to social events — sober.

I still dance, laugh, sing and run around. I keep up with the drunk people on the dance floor and have more energy to chase the little ones. The difference is, I remember everything and I wake up feeling great.

My skin is clearer. My teeth are whiter. My body feels alive again.

I’m present for my daughter in a way I simply couldn’t be before. For the first time in 28 years, I feel like I’m truly winning — and I couldn’t be happier about my new, amazing alcohol-free life.

Thank you, OYNB.