I have time to enjoy life! – Brenda Partyka

When I share my story with friends, I am surprised how many are sober curious.

When alcohol stopped being my friend

Alcohol was no longer my friend and hadn’t been for quite a few years. I was a sneaky drinker, and no one ever really questioned it. I was “the fun one” who loved to party. On the outside, it all looked fine. On the inside, I was counting down the minutes until I could leave work and have my first drink of the day. I told myself I deserved it. Teaching during lockdown was hard… right?

Then the ugly patterns emerged. Passing out. Night sweats. Irritable bowels. Morning confusion. Doing whatever I could to feel “presentable” for the new day. On New Year’s Day I woke up and couldn’t remember what I’d eaten the night before, even though there was red sauce on the sleeve of the dress I’d worn. In that moment I knew: the gig was up. I was done. I needed to take care of myself before I hit rock bottom.

Finding a way out

In September 2019, OYNB appeared on my Facebook feed and I was shocked to see it. I’d been carrying so much shame and guilt about my drinking that it felt like a small miracle to be shown a way out.

I bought the 28 Day Challenge book, some merchandise, and completed the month. Then I made “deals” with alcohol and promised myself a life of moderation. Those deals didn’t last.

But the book stayed on my shelf, waiting for the day I was ready to commit with my whole heart. My online 28 Day Challenge was still there too, welcoming me back when I finally admitted I needed more. That’s when I signed up for the 365-day (and beyond) challenge.

Changing habits the holistic way

I’d quit smoking 17 years ago, and my mantra since then has been: “I don’t want to go back to day 1.” I knew giving up alcohol wouldn’t be easy either, so I decided to treat it as a whole-life change rather than just “not drinking”.

Each day I:

• write a short journal entry

• watch my OYNB video

• eat healthy food

• move my body

Since I started, I’ve lost 22 pounds, my blood pressure has dropped, I feel calmer, and I have more time and energy to enjoy my life. The first 45 days were full of cravings and self-doubt, but I kept going. Eventually I started to feel more stable and genuinely happier. The idea of “going back to day 1” stopped feeling like an option.

Support, tools and community

Every day I look forward to checking in on how my fellow OYNB members are doing. I get so much joy from cheering on people who are finding their strength. The daily videos give me encouragement and new insights. I used to wish I had a sober friend to hold my hand through this. Instead, I found a whole community that acts as my compass.

As a teacher, I’m always telling my students to “use your learning strategies”. Thanks to OYNB, I’ve built a huge toolkit of strategies for myself too. I know there will still be obstacles ahead on this journey, but now I feel prepared to face them head on.

Sharing sober curiosity

When I share my story with friends, I’m always surprised by how many of them are sober curious. I’ve passed on the OYNB website and offered encouragement to give it a try. If my experience helps someone else take their first step towards a clearer, kinder way of living, then it’s another gift this alcohol-free life has given me.